Nursing Homes

I was talking with my host dad and mom in our compound after dinner a few nights ago about family systems here and in the US. My father asked about my family and specifically about my grandparents. He was very impressed with my grandmother's age and health. He asked if she lived in the same compound as my family in the US. I explained that she lives by herself in a house in a different state. They were taken aback. “Ndeer cuddi makko he hai goto kono oo?” (In a house by herself?) they kept asking, seeming rather alarmed. “Eyi” (Yes), I replied, “But family is always visiting and live close," I explained. This seemed to lessen their anxieties slightly, but they were still concerned. The idea of someone living alone, especially an older person, is very foreign to them. The compounds here are living entities. Within their fences, compounds house family members across generations. This system is one of strength, support, and security. The older individuals depend on the younger individuals for their physical labor, childbearing, and income generation. The younger generation depends on the older generation for decision making, advice, childraising, and social ties.

Feeling adventurous, I then attempted to explain nursing homes.
“Suudu money he mawbe hewbe” (Many old people live in large houses with many other old people), I explained.
“Are they related?” they asked. (This conversation continues in Pulaar, but I will leave out the translation.)
“No,” I replied, “many do not know each other.”
“Are they sick?”
“Sometimes,” I said.
“Where are their families?” they asked concerned.
“Some visit, some do not,” I explained.
"Who takes care of them? Who cooks lunch and dinner?"
"There are people that work at these homes who cook, clean and take care of them, like my mom. She is a nurse at one of these homes."
"The old people must be sad there - no children, no family, no life."
"Yes," I said. "Many times they are."

This then gave me the opportunity to explain what I think is a great aspect of Gambian culture: how elderly are cared for, respected, and incorporated into society. They are not isolated, disregarded, and medicated as is often the case in the states.

Here people always ask me about America and express their desire to get a visa and live there. Their fantasy of America is solely an image of wealth and easy living. While praising America, they always criticize and depreciate Gambia by saying that it is an ugly, poor, and unpleasant place to live. It is hard to explain that life in America is not always as easy as they think. This conversation on nursing homes was one instance where I was able to express serious admiration for their culture and I hope they were able to recognize this difference and appreciate it as well.